Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
