uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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