The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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