Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize