I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
