I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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