Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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