Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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