So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
