apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
