so that wasnt chicken after all
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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