The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
