: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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