you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
