afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
