My hand turned me down
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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