You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
