so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
