they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
