let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
