I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
