went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's rum buckets o'clock
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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