I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
