I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
