Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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