you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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