Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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