How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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