i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
