How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
