I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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