I CAN MOONWALK!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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