i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
