Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
