I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
