I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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