Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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