it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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