so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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