im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
