I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I looked at my own cervix.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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