I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
