Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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