I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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