He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
