Already got asked if we're dating
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
