i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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