i think my tv is drunk
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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