btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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