I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
