Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
