'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it was like eating out sand paper
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
