I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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