When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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