ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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