Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
