if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
