You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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