Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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