thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
