yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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