it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
