so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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