so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
