Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
