I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
