i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize