My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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