You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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