So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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