it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
where am i from again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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