Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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