96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the room spins SO much faster in panama
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
